Love Is a Verb!

Sermon 23OCT11

"Love is a Verb!"

Matthew 22:34-46

There was a psychology professor who lived in a neighborhood which had a number of children living in it. He had no children of his own, but he would often see parents disciplining their children, punishing them and perhaps even spanking them and he would say "You should love your children, not punish them". One hot Saturday he was put working on his driveway. He was resurfacing it where cracks and chips had appeared and getting it back into a smooth finish. After working all day in the hot sun, sweat pouring from his brow, he started back to his house to put his tools up and to relax. As he's putting his tools up in his garage he sees put of the corner of his eye this little boy walking through the fresh concrete that he'd worked so hard to get smooth and level. This got him furious. He stormed over to the little boy, grabbed him, and started to spank him. One of his neighbors saw what was going on and called out to the man, "Now doctor, you know you're supposed to love the child not punish him". The professor replied back, "I do love him in the abstract, but NOT in the CONCRETE!"

I think that's one of the problems we have with love. It's easy to love in the abstract, but when it gets into the concrete reality of loving particular people it suddenly becomes very difficult. I always get nervous when I hear someone say "I just love everybody". You could examine that person's life and find they probably aren't measuring up to that declaration of "I just love everybody". It's not easy to love. Some people are very difficult to love. I think this is one reason our Lord has put this is the form of a commandment. The two greatest commandments: "The first is you are to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. The second is like unto it, you are to love your neighbor as yourself." That sums up all the law and the prophets! So, that we love is a commandment. 

One of Bartlett's familiar quotations says more on love than anything else. She reads the definitions of love and they range anywhere from some kind of sentimental romantic "love" down to "love is not having to say you're sorry". You don't get much substance put of defining love. Love is something that happens; it's something that you do. In his book "The Practice of Love", Ashley Montegau asked a mother about her child and to define love, but she really doesn't know how to define it she just knows what it is. She may say "it's something that makes the heart leap with joy". He says in his book "you don't have to be a grammarian to know what love is, you just have to have a heart". 

We had our grand-daughter over at our house last evening and I know what mothers are talking about; just to have this beautiful child around brings joy to our hearts. I think mothers feel the same thing. But not all of them do, do they? We've heard some horrid stories about children that are mistreated or even killed by one of their parents, or even both parents. The thing about love though is it's something you learn. You were either brought up in a loving home, or you weren't. If you were brought up in a loving home you will, most likely, pass that love on. Human beings were created to love, and to be loved; to receive love and to give love. If somehow we've missed out on learning what love is about we're probably in trouble in our lives in some horrible way.

There was a pastor who had a problem with one particular member of his congregation. This person was born to object. They objected to everything. Anything the Church decided to do, they would object to it; they would find something wrong with it. One day the pastor sat down with a friend and said "I know the Lord says we're supposed to love our enemies and our neighbors, but I don't know how I'm supposed to love this guy". The friend gave him a very wise response "You know, love isn't about fondness. Love isn't about loving someone who's lovable. Christian love is something that you just DO". 

You know the "Golden Rule"? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It doesn't say "feel" about others as you would have them "feel" about you. Love is something that we do; it's an "action" word, a verb. If you don't love, you don't do! You can say "I love everyone", then actually hate them by not doing! So often people don't see it the right way. 

There was a Chaplain at a Roman Catholic girl's school. He would often have students come to his office for a "chat", but usually it was because there was some problem. So the girls knew if they had a problem they could go to the chaplain. One day this girl named Anne came to the office to chat. After a while she finally admitted to the chaplain what the problem was. She had a friend named Dianne who was on drugs and alcohol, her grades were going down, she was having trouble with her parents, she was loosing her friends, but she was such a good friend to this girl that Anne didn't feel like she could say anything bad to her. Other people were talking about her behind her back and putting her down, and Anne didn't want her to think that even her close friends were turning on her. The chaplain happened to think of something that Dietrich Bonhoeffer said during World War II. "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing". We heard from Leviticus today: "reprove your neighbor". If he's messing up reprove him, approach him! Some of the loneliest people in this world are the ones who are dealing with an alcohol or drug addiction, and they KNOW they need help. Your approaching them and talking to them about their problem may raise them up to the point that they seek the help they need. So, make the reprove. The greatest evil in this world is when good people do nothing. Look what horrible things have happened in history (for instance, in Hitler's Germany) and in our world today simply because good people DID NOTHING! 

There was an evangelist who also wrote books. He was doing a preaching mission in a Mid Western town. In his books he liked to talk about the important people he'd met in his life. On this occasion he went to dinner that evening after he'd preached with a retired missionary. It was an older man, and the evangelist couldn't even remember his name. Through the evening the old man kept talking about his son Henry. The evangelist was actually getting bored with all this, but the man kept in talking about his son. He told the evangelist how Henry had tried his hand at journalism and failed, but one of Henry's friends had an idea about some new types of magazines. The old man told him "I had $600 dollars left in my life savings, but I gave all that to my son and his friend". The old man then told the evangelist "You may know my son, Henry Luce; he started 'Life', 'Time', and 'Fortune' magazines". The old man, the father was willing to believe in his son's ideas and dreams enough to make the sacrifice of his life savings. He didn't just say "I love my son", he put action, he put money, he invested himself behind his son; and it worked. That doesn't mean it'll always work, but the point is he DID SOMETHING with the love he had for his son. 

Have you seen the movie "A Man and A Boy"? I think it got bad reviews, but I've seen it several times cause in like it so much. Hugh Grant plays the lead. It's an English movie, a little bit of a comedy; it's not romantic particularly. At any rate, Hugh Grant plays this individual who says through his lifestyle "I am an island unto myself". We know the reverse of that "No man is an island unto himself". We know the truth and the reality of the fact that no man can really be an island, but he seemed to want to act this way. His father had written some popular song, so he lived off the royalties of that song. He had a very nice apartment, could buy anything he wanted to, could eat where ever he wanted to, and he had all these wonderful things. Then comes along this little boy. He raps on his door and gains entry, the kid hangs around for a little while; but Hugh Grant doesn't really pay him much attention. The problem is the kid has a very bad home life. His mother has attempted suicide, or has talked about it in front of the boy. At any rate, the boy simply doesn't want to go home, so he comes to Hugh Grant's apartment. After a while he starts warming up to having the boy around; he even goes to a department store and buys the boy some very expensive athletic shoes. He says in the movie that when he bought those shoes it gave him a warm feeling in his heart like he was really doing something for this young man. The boy was being bullied quite a bit in school, and in the next scene the boy is standing in the rain at his mother's door and she asks him "where are your new shoes?". Someone had stolen them. Later in the movie Christmas comes around and the boy asks Grant what he does on Christmas. He tells the boy he usually buys a bottle and sits at home watching videos and getting drunk. Well, the boy wanted him to come to his home and spend Christmas with him and his mom. So he does. His mom wasn't happy about this and Hugh Grant almost leaves, but the boy insists "NO, I invited him, I want him here for Christmas". Grant admits later in the movie that sitting around that table he felt the warmth of Christmas, he felt the warmth of family; even though this wasn't the ideal family at all he had the first real Christmas that he'd had since he was a child.

This reminds me of C.S. Lewis' "Four Loves", where he talks about how if you're going to love you first have to be vulnerable. You have to be willing to put your heart out there. You may even have it broken, but if your not willing to do that then you can probably be an island unto yourself; but you wrap yourself up in your selfish images, you have no real relationships with other people. He says it's very much like putting your heart in a casket, in a coffin. It's very safe there. There's no air, there's no disturbance; your heart will not be broken, but your heart WILL change. It will become impenetrable. It will become unreachable. It will become unredeemable.